Namer of All Things Worthy

I once had a friend who gave me the title of “Namer of All Things Worthy.”  And even though that friendship has faded, the title is still very much alive.  Names absolutely fascinate me.  Have you ever wondered how certain objects get their names?  Or where they came up with the name for the color fuchsia?  Or how about all those fonts?  In high school, when I was on the Yearbook Staff, I got to help pick out the fonts that we would use for the book throughout the year, and I decided then that I wanted to be the person that picked out crazy names for fonts, or even the names for nail polishes.  How fun of a job would that be?!  But even before that, I loved naming things.

I doubt that I will ever get paid for naming anything, but that hasn’t stopped me from naming most things in sight.  Every one of my cars has had a name (I’ve named my parent’s vehicles and my bff’s cars, too!).  And it can’t just be any name.  The name has to relate to the car (or whatever object I’m working with).  It has to have meaning.  It can’t be too common or too simple.  Sometimes a name will just come to me naturally (shout out to Susan’s former jeep, the beloved Jude), and sometimes I have to work a little harder at it (my new orchid, Persephone, took a bit of work).

For your reading pleasure, here is a list of many things I have named (a combination of two of my favorite things–names and lists!):

  • Drew, Sal, and Rhett–the three vehicles that have taken me on many adventures
  • Hesiod Petronius–my HP laptop (this name was inspired by a much loved Greco-Roman course; ancient Greece has awesome names!)
  • Tobias–the tablet I am currently using to post this very entry
  • Melvin–my beloved, blue beta fish, named after the musical group Harry, Melvin, and the Bluenotes

The list could go on and on, but I think you’ve probably had enough.  I even have a list of names for future children.  Every time I come across a name that really catches my eye, I mark it down on “The List.”  And hey, if I never have kids, then at least I will have some awesomely (is that even a word?) named pets.  Or maybe I can take my list and become a professional naming consultant.  I can just see the business card now:  Olivia Kuhns, Professional Naming Consultant & Namer of All Things Worthy.  (And you can bet the font on that card would be out of this world!)

So if you ever find yourself in need of a naming consultant, you know where to find me!


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